Lacking in confidence?

One of the most common things that people say to me in coaching sessions is; “I lack confidence”.

Now if I am totally honest, I cannot make an un-confident person confident, I wish I could, I’d be a millionaire!  But I can help people to find their own confidence.

A good starting point is to write a list of three things: the things you do well, the things you do badly and the things that you should do well but don’t.

In relative terms, of the lists you produce, the shortest should be the things you should do well but don’t.  If this consists of more then 5 or 6 items cross some of them off – it’s too long!  Next should be the list of things you do well, and the longest list of all should be the list of things you do badly.

The reason for writing down the things you do badly is because they are generally the flip side of the things you do well.  For example, I am very good at “stepping into” a situation and getting involved and I am not so good at “stepping out” of a situation and being objective – why would I be, one is the opposite of the other!

Now look at the list of things you need to do better and consider what training, development or support you can get to help you become better at those things.  You don’t have to be brilliant, just adequate.

Now make a commitment.  From now on be honest with yourself and others about your strengths and weaknesses.  Remember, people employ you for your strengths, not your weaknesses, so focus all your efforts on being world class in those areas and make fun of your weaknesses.

With a bit of time and practice you should start to feel more confident as you realise that you only have strengths because of your weaknesses.

To contact Gill McKay, please email her at