Everyone Communicates Few Connect

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John C. Maxwell Thomas Nelson 2010 0785214259 Alistair Schofield, Managing Director, Extensor Limited

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It’s not every day that someone sends me a present, so when John Maxwell kindly sent me a copy of his latest book it came as a pleasant surprise.  I have to admit though that I am not John’s biggest fan, as I find his books rather verbose, and this one is no exception.

As captured in the title, the central theme of the book is that communication is only effective if the person receiving the communication is listening, paying attention and is receptive to the message.  Creating these circumstances has very little to do with what you are saying and everything to do with how you say it and your personal credibility.

The subject is of great interest to me as effective communication is arguably the most important skill of leadership.  The prominent psychologist Professor Albert Mehrabian produced a communication model in which he concluded that the effective communicating of feelings and attitudes can be broken down in the following way:

• 7% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken.
• 38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).
• 55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression.

While Mehrabian’s model describes the challenge, Maxwell’s book provides guidance on how to put it into practice.

If you find the book too long-winded, you can instead gain a useful insight into its key messages by simply reading the short anecdotal sentences that are set in frames and liberally distributed throughout the book.  These range from the somewhat cheesy: “I was trying to get ahead by correcting others when I should have been trying to connect with others” to more thought-somewhat cheesy: “I was trying to get ahead by correcting others when I should have been trying to connect with others” to more thought-provolking ones such as ones such as: “Connection always begins with a commitment to someone else”.

My conclusion is that if you can get beyond the somewhat repetitive and overly descriptive style, this is a useful book for anyone who needs to get their message across, whether through public speaking or in more subtle ways.

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